Look out for the green stuff and avoid falling towers

By PAT BROWN,

Well, it is getting serious and I might end up in a rubber room.  It began when a buddy invited me to deer camp on a Friday. 

  I got through with everything and decided to leave the office early on Friday afternoon.  The friend has a camp just down the road so by about 3:00 we had arrived and were sitting on the back porch.  

  I had put on rubber boots and started down the steps to grab my bag. Before I knew it I was bouncing down the steps.  It seems that rubber boots are not so good on green deckwood.  It was only like four of five steps, but I hit each one on the way down and for good measure when I hit the bottom it threw me over onto steel grates, which took out my watch and chewed up my left elbow. 

   I lay still for a moment because I had hit hard and was afraid something might be broken.  As it turned out, I just had bruises across my back and arms.  I did not realize how hard I hit, but judging by the bruises it was bad. 

    If it had ended there it would not have been so bad.  I have gone through a week and my lower back has been giving me a rough time.

  Sunday night I was lying in bed about 2 a.m. having a graphic dream.  For some reason I was in a wooden tower that started to blow over and right before it hit I figured  I would jump for the water.  I did...

  ...Only to wake up with the top of my head pounding where I hit the tile floor.  I caught my shoulder on the bedstand and got a pretty good scratch, but nothing compares to the jammed neck and the throbbing where I landed on my head.  At the time my feet were caught in the covers and I was hanging there off the bed.  We don’t have one of those low beds. It is a high bed so you have time to reach terminal velocity on the way down. 

  I am telling you, it hurt.  Nancy said, “Let me run to the bathroom and I’ll come help you up.”  I could detect a slight snicker to her voice.  I guess she got even for failing to listen to her in my sleep.  Sometimes I realize I have done it--mind you,  it is not intentional--I hear her shouting “Stop!” but it is too late. 

    Monday morning she suggested I see the chiropractor for an adjustment.  It did not take long to call for an appointment. 

     I went in and the doctor asked what had happened, and I told her I had jumped off a fallen tower.  She kind of looked at me strangely, and I explained. 

    She did her thing with the straightening and cracking and popping.  It worked. The tension I had been experiencing for the past week was gone and I was able to get back to the office.

  Regarding the green stuff on a deck or steps, try pouring some Clorox bleach on it.  It works!  And it might save your life.