Do you ever wonder why listening to your grandchildren talk can feel like an out-of-body experience? What are they talking about? Who is tick-tock? What’s an influencer? What’s wrong with this kid?
Guess what, Gramps. Your grandson is wondering the same thing about you. What planet did that sweet old fella fall off of?
What’s he talking about?
Unless they really come from another country like New York, the feeling that your younger family members are speaking a foreign language can come from your generational differences.
Members of at least six generations are living in America today, and the age difference can make members of the same family wonder where those older— or younger folks— got their “weird” ideas.
One reason for generational differences that can make you think your grandkids just flew in from Mars is the impactful events shared within one generation that did not impact the next or former generation.
For example, the Silent Generation (born 1928-1945) lived through the effects of the Depression and World War II. Their children, the Baby Boomers (born 1946-1964) knew of those events but weren’t directly impacted by them. They were impacted by the scramble to bring life back to normal after war and economic disaster and give their kids more stability and affuence than Mom and Dad had.
And so on. Each generation is impacted by what they and their contemporaries experience but not impacted by what other generations experienced or what was and still is important to that age group.
I was born to Depression Era/Silent Generation parents. But not having lived through that period myself, I was frustrated by their obsession with saving, using what we had, doing it ourselves instead of hiring it done. Why couldn’t I have a new typewriter instead of a used one?
Baby Boomer grandparents scratch their heads over the way their Gen Z grandkids (born 1997-2012) jump from job to job and care more about Xbox and social media than working and saving their money.
A second obvious reason for generational differences is the perspective, or hopefully wisdom, we gain from aging. As experiences actually touch us personally, we may change our attitudes about those things. Notice the number of California liberals becoming conservatives after they lost their homes in wildfires made worse by liberal political policies.
The amount of time we spend with our own generation compared with the time spent with other generations also affects our understanding of different age groups. Years ago it was not uncommon for three or even four generations of a family to live in one house. Gramps and Junior lived life together and had to accommodate one another’s issues and attitudes. That kind of cross-generational communication is very rare today.
Now, kids raised in day care and school with little contact with older people except as authority figures go out into the world knowing much about their own generation’s attitudes and experiences and little about anyone else’s. The same is true of senior adults who have little contact with younger generations. When they are together, these groups often have trouble finding anything to say to each other beyond “How are you?”
Today’s greater physical, social and moral mobility may seem like “freedom” to some— live where you want, marry who you want and divorce when you no longer want them, and do as you want without pressure to conform to religious, social or family standards.
But the result of all that freedom has been to separate the generations still further. Young families who move away from parents and raise their children far away may gain from new opportunities, but their children are often deprived of interaction with their older relatives, who are then unable to pass down things family members once had in common: traditions, knowledge of a skill or trade, expectations for behavior, or just those family stories about how Aunt Lootie Mae got so drowsy listening to the preacher who came to dinner that she fell asleep in the mashed potatoes.
Divorce and family separation sometimes have the same effect, with kids more likely to cling to friends their own age for stability and the non-custodial parent now lost as a source of daily interaction.
Whatever the reason, generational separation affects everything in America, from shopping patterns to work, social interaction and education and political decisions.
Chances are that your Gen X grandkids won’t be reading this. It’s printed on paper and it’s not on Tiktoc. But Gramps and Grammy, read this column next week for things that make Junior’s eyes glaze over when you say “back in my day,” and why, when (and if) Junior speaks at all, you’re wondering, What’s wrong with this kid?
