My two dogs, Buddy and Betsy, enjoy being in their back yard visiting with other neighborhood dogs who often gather for a chinwag through the fence.
I went out the other day to see what was going on with my fuzzy friends and saw that the group at the fence included an Afghan Hound called Ahmed, Scotty the Scottish Terrier, Dixie the German Shepherd, Labrador Retrievers Duke and Jet, a Russian Wolfhound named Boris—new to the neighborhood, and my own Betsy the Shih-tzu-wanna-be and Buddy the Chihuahua. The only real American dog among them was Hank, the sweet melting pot, All-American mutt from across the way.
I realized, eavesdropping a bit on their dog talk, that I had an international gathering right here in my own backyard!
So I was interested in their conversation, especially when I realized they were discussing the news. In case you don’t know, dogs follow the news closely and have firm opinions about what’s going on around the world. This day they were bow-wowing about the anti-Israeli/ pro Hamas demonstrations in America.
“These dumb kids who don’t really know anything about the situation think Hamas is heroic. They don’t understand that Hamas attacked Israel first and is using the Palestinians as human shields to keep Israel from retaliating,” said Duke, the black Lab, one of the senior members of the group. “They think Hamas is there to liberate the Palestinians, but they’re just there to kill Jews because that’s what their culture has taught them,” he continued. “Now a bunch of these American kids think they want to be Muslims because it sounds so romantic,” he concluded, puffing his cheeks out a bit with the exertion of all that opining.
“Well, from my experience with the Taliban in Afghanistan, there’s nothing romantic about fundamental Muslim culture,” said the elegant Afghan Ahmed. “If these ditsy American girls wind up in my former country, they’ll be slapped into a burka so fast it will make their heads swim! They’ll get a little peep hole in the garment to look out of on the rare occasions that they are allowed out of the house,” said Ahmed. “IF they get to go out, they have to be accompanied by a man. They won’t be allowed to go to school in that culture, and they can’t have professional careers.”
“Hey!” Scotty piped up, pointing his black ears forward in excitement, “I wouldn’t mind being a boy dog in that situation! I’d get to have all the fun, and the girl dogs would have to do what I said!”
“Watch it, Fuzzball!” Dixie growled, being a big independent German woman dog herself with no plans to be led around by a man dog.
Jet the Yellow Lab joined the conversation at that point. “I can’t believe these American kids I see on TV not just demonstrating for Hamas but demonstrating against America! Don’t they know how great they have it here?”
“Where did you come from?” asked Buddy, whom we accuse of entering America with other illegals from Mexico.
“Labrador in Canada,” he answered. “You don’t know cold and wet until you’ve lived there! And the polar bears people think are so sweet used to chase me when I was doing my duck retrieving! Enjoy this warm American weather you have and a polar bear-free society!”
“I can’t believe these college kids think socialism is the way to go. They should try living in Russia, where I come from,” said Boris. “I saw that Putin guy trying to revive true communism and hopped the first freighter to America!”
“Yeah,” Dixie growled. “These dummies don’t realize that if the government promises to take care of you, the only way they can do it is to take everything everybody has and re-distribute it.”
“They can’t have my dog treats!” Buddy yelped. “Germany isn’t socialist, is it?”
“Not yet,” Dixie snorted, “but all Europe is going in that direction, letting the state boss them more and more and taking more of their freedoms in return for ‘protecting’ them.”
“No one’s tellin’ me what to do!” Hank announced. “I’m an independent American dog that won’t be trapped in that socialist mess!”
“Hmm,” Boris mused, “then you’d, ah, ‘disappear’ in socialism. Independent dogs don’t fare well in Marxist societies.”
“Then why do young Americans think they want to be socialists and communists and all those things?” Betsy asked.
“Because they think the government will solve all their problems and pay their bills for them but still let them live as they please,” Buddy clarified for his housemate. “And that ain’t happenin’.”
But the happy little Betsy had already lost interest in politics and was spinning in a circle, chasing her tail for the joy of seeing it disappear as she whirled.
Like most of the rest of us.
