Because I had a little time off last week for the Thanksgiving holiday, I forced myself to clean out some folders that had been piling up in our study. I’m embarrassed to say, some of them were left over from my teaching days that ended 25 years ago. Well, I’ve been busy since then. That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it!
But one folder contained a page that pertained to Thanksgiving as described by students and I wanted to share it this week before we get too involved with Christmas thoughts.
Some friends of mine had seen “Thanksgiving According to Students” on the internet in 2009 and sent me the copy of what the kids had written because they knew that as an English teacher I would find it funny. I did, but I also found it a little frightening.
The sayings were compiled by author/teacher/ lecturer Richard Lederer, whose name you may recognize. His books include Crazy English, which shows some of our illogical use of words; Comma Sense, which attempts to show the “fun” of punctuation (which seemed to escape many of my students); and American History for Everyone: The Fascination Story of Our Great Nation.
Lederer’s titles show why he might have been interested in what students thought about the American holiday of Thanksgiving. He took some student essays written on the topic of Thanksgiving and pulled out these gems of self-expression from America’s young writers. The statements he chose probably appealed to Lederer’s interest in history and in the kids’ ability to express themselves in the English language, which is definitely less than stunning.
I’ve copied their writing just as they presented it, historical knowledge, spelling, “fun” punctuation and all. It’s an eye-opener. Here’s what they wrote:
- “The Pilgrams were a bunch of English wonderers who wanted to worship as they wanted to. They excaped the Church of England and came over here because they heard that American churches were different.
- The May Flower was the ship with which they came in. It didn’t have a bathroom on board so there was quite an oder. Priscillia Mullins was the captain.
-First the Pilgrams had gone to Holland but left when their children started developing customs there. After a stopover at Williamsbug when a large storm blew them off course they landed on a big, slimey rock in Massatusetts. They spent the winter there.
-Before they got off the ship even they drew up an agreement for the people of Plymouth to agree on the voting for governors and congressmen. They kept this hid in the May Flower Compact. Lord Delaware was elected the first governor of Plymouth Rock.
-A friendly Indian named Rhone Oak showed the Pilgrams how to plant corn by putting it in the ground. Rhone Oak had been the first Indian to come to America and always wanted a beer. He traveled around with Miles Standy and translated language. He knew enough English to interupt.
-Another interupter for the white man was Squanto, who was called that because he was so short. Squanto drew up a declaration to give the settlers freedom of goverment in the new land. The Pilgrams gave the Indians thanks for all this and that’s what started Thanksgiving.
-The Pilgrams then appointed Thanksgiving as a national holiday. Abraham Lincoln later pronounced it and gave it to them and it soon became a national holiday all around the world.
- These people always wore old shoes with a big buckel on the top of them. The men wore pants that only came a little ways past the knees and the girls wore funny bonets.
-But if these people wouldn’t had of come to America the United States wouldn’t be like it is today.”
When I read these statements for the first time, I couldn’t stop laughing. English teachers find spellings like “excaped” and “Williamsbug” hilarious, and then we get mad because the kids can’t spell. The student who confused “interupter” with “interpreter” also gave me a chuckle.
I suspect that the children’s teacher may have mispelled “Pilgrim” on the board as “Pilgram” at least once or so many of them wouldn’t have mispelled the word the same way. Even the best teacher does that sometimes, so I’m trying to cut that teacher some slack.
But the students’ lack of ability to say anything accurate about the coming of the “Pilgrams” and the origin of Thanksgiving worries me that even in 2009 our students were writing at this level of incompetence, and with the dumbing down of education that has occurred since then, their knowledge of history and their ability to use the English language accurately has surely decreased.
And then I’m wondering about those of you who might have read this with a straight face, not noticing any errors at all.
Could it be that you graduated with this bunch?
